Deep Within the Unknown

Someone recently said to me that deep within the unknown lies the known. It has left me wondering just how deep one must go into the darkness to finally see the light. For the past 2 months I have felt like a stranger in my own body – seemingly disconnected from the Source of my own being. Needless to say, this is somewhat alarming to someone whose life quest is to live her deepest truth and to assist others to live theirs.

Like a Chrysalis, uncertain of what’s to come, unaware of the magnificence that lies ahead, I am transforming in a way I have never experienced. Today I read that a caterpillar actually liquefies in the cocoon before it transforms into a butterfly. This pretty much sums up my recent journey.

During my Bikram yoga teacher training, the lead instructor would often say that the greatest distance one will ever travel is the distance between the mind and the heart. I now understand that this excursion is the reason for the extreme discomfort I have been experiencing. It is now clear I’ve been relearning everything I thought to instead know it in my heart.

For as long as I can remember, my mother has told me that when I was born she knew I would teach her how to love. Though it was a delightful thing to say, I was always found myself confused whenever she said this. Now more than ever, I look back at my life and think, what do I know about love? My love relationships over the past decade have been less than revelatory, bordering on non-existent (except in my own mind). What I have realized is that living from my heart does not require me to be in a great relationship but it instead means to live my life with great passion, to follow my hopes and dreams, no matter how impossible they may seem; to have love, compassion and acceptance for others and their own path and choices.

I have always been a passionate person. My family would tell anyone they met that I have always lived from my heart - done whatever I wanted. “Mary Poppins” they called me, “she blows with the wind” they would say, referring to my actions in following my heart’s desire.

To be such a passionate person is not always easy in this world. Often times it is mistaken for being overly zealous or too intense. What I’ve come to realize as I’ve gone through this recalibration is that I can be passionate without having to prove anything to anyone, or take anyone with me in my excitement.

I am passionate about living my light, to live from my heart, to express my deepest truth – to love myself, my life, my family, my friends, my clients. Whether I offend others or if someone disapproves, can not be my concern. Though I hope to live in peace and balance with all beings, I also recognize that not everyone will agree with my choices and ways of expression. In these cases, I must yield to my own heart and remain in my truth without dimming my light, isolating or changing what I believe to be accepted.

To live from my heart means to listen to my body, to see the beauty and magic in the everyday things; to laugh, to dance, to express my deepest truth without fear of rejection; to create the space and be a support for others as they too open to the truth in their own hearts. To live from my heart means to live, the only way I know how – as me…

Namaste, Andrea